How to Prepare Your Daughter for Dating

The first person you have to prepare for your daughter's dating is you. You must prepare yourself to hear such things as, “everybody’s doing it,” “all my friends are allowed,” “Brenda’s dad lets her,” “you’re so mean,” “you just don’t understand,” “things are different now,” just to name a few. This barrage of statements can shake the confidence of the strongest father. Here are some suggestions that will help you maneuver through these tough times.

• Take your daughter on a date. Perhaps this is something that you have done already but it wouldn’t hurt to plan a date night where the focus is actually on the “dos” and “don’ts” of dating. Caution: It is around this age that most daughters perfect the eye roll. Do not let these eye rolls stop you.

• Ask your daughter the following questions and then listen closely to her answers. The goal is to have a pleasant conversation where you to learn more about your daughter rather than an interrogation.
  

1. Is anyone in her class dating yet?
2. What does she know about dating?
3. What does she feel is a good age to start dating? And why?
4. Do her friends talk about dating?

• Discuss what you know best - boys. Having been one yourself, you are her expert in how they think, act, and manipulate (at times) to get what they want. If you don’t educate her on boys, someone else will, and they might not have her best interests in mind. Most fathers find this discussion uncomfortable, and so will your daughter. She may try to change the subject by intimidating you into thinking it is stupid and unnecessary. Don’t fall for it.

• Explain to your daughter that she is a precious young lady who is “love-worthy.”A father is the first man who is supposed to pursue his daughter’s heart. If you pursue your daughter’s heart in the right way (with her best interests in mind), it will prove to her that she is worthy of receiving love, or at least in the early dating scene, respect. The love you give her will help her separate the “champs” from the “chumps” when she starts dating.

• Explain the concept of “listening to your gut.” Most of us have experienced times where a situation just doesn’t seem right. Explain to your daughter that she too will experience this and that she should listen to her gut and flee the situation.

• It is important that your daughter know that you are there for her any time of the day or night. Many of us have learned valuable life lessons from making mistakes, but research shows that children growing up with involved, responsible and committed fathers are less likely to choose risky behaviors.

One more important question: What is your love life modeling for your children? Whether you are divorced, married, in a second marriage, or dating, your children are watching how you treat and are treated by your loved one, how you express your love, and how you argue with your mate. They learn by watching you. Although no parent in the history has ever been a perfect role model, we can honestly acknowledge our mistakes and do better.